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Right now, I sit here, Pandora playing on my TV. Finishing up my coffee while searching for new writing gigs. With a fresh and clean apartment, daughter at school, I find whatever time I can to write. I find myself faced with a decision. Do I continue on with school for Nursing? The more I contemplate it, the more it feels like I am doing it because I know I would be making better money, rather than the fact that it's not something I really planned on doing with my life. I have a passion for music and writing and the arts, and I feel I was always meant to go in that direction, despite the fact that I have never had anyone fully support me in that path. I'm at a point now, where I could care less who has my back. It's my life, is it not? God willing, I will get to do what I'm passionate about and not have to "work" a day in my life. If you're with me and want to support me and help me get to where I want to be, then that's great, if you're not... No skin off my back! When I say support, I am not talking about financial... I am just needing to meet the right people and be in the right place at the right time. That has not happened for me yet and I need that to get the fire lit! Just point me in the directiion, give me contacts or network resources to contact...If I need to be where they are, I'll find a way to get there.

On the other hand, if you have anything negative or critical to say of what I choose to do with my life, I really don't care to hear anymore...I've heard it all my life...believe me, I really don't need it! Mostly those naysayers are the jealous haters who wish they had talent, or do and don't have the courage or guts to do anything about it NOT MY PROBLEM, people! That's your own issue within yourself...something you need to resolve, instead of cutting down the dreams of others...just saying! Yeah, of course I'm going to keep working where I am right now. I have a great schedule, and while it's hard sometimes, It's meaningful to me and is where I need to be for now. I get that. Besides, I gotta pay my bills somehow! I am just gonna do whatever it takes on the side to get to where I want to be! Every artist has to pay their dues initially.


So, yes I realize I need to make a decision, and quite honestly... I am so sick of going to school. I have been at it since the age of 18, after feeling like I failed at becoming a professional vocalist, trying to find a "practical" path to please those that do not believe the arts is a real "career path." Sorry, but I refuse to listen to anyone's BS about that anymore. You only have one shot at life and you have to do what your passionate about, otherwise, you spend life miserable and unhappy, wishing you had done something to make your dreams come true. I refuse to stand idly by and watch life pass me by! I want to be the mother and woman my daughter needs me to be. Someone she can truly be proud of and look up to. Luckily I still have time on my side, and youth... for the most part. I can still make this happen DAMMIT!!! I will, just wait and see!! 

To all my naysayers and critics... Looking forward to the day when you will eat your words!!! Don't Choke! The heimlich maneuver hurts!;)


4/27/2013 10:30:34 pm

Hello Brielle

I share all your sentiments in this post. It has been the exact experience in my writing life.

I started writing stories when I was 12; and by the time I was 21 I knew I wanted to be a published writer...then life got in the way. For nine years I sent numerous manuscripts to numerous publishing houses. I received some good critique and a load of 'rejection' form letters. By the time I was 30 I was at the crossroads you are now; I had a decision to make about my writing future.

Was I going to put all my marbles in the barrel and concentrate all my efforts into writing; or should I think of establishing a career and raise a family?

I chose the latter. I don't regret it; I have a wonderful son and find myself looking at the world through his eyes. I've learned a lot. Looking back I also realize how much I would have struggled financially and unable to provide properly for my family.

For me; choosing life over writing was the right decision. Now that my son is all but grown up I have been getting back to my writing more seriously. I would still like to see one of my books in print before I die.

Best of luck to you
Jack

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